AFTER 9 YEARS

                                  HI HALLO I COME BACK TO MY OLD DIARY XOXO 




                                              LETS MAKE A NEW BEGGINING

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  Hi , i will introduce you my nephew hihi His name is zavier rafif al-farisi,his age is 5month wohooo so young.  I love him so much, He is my first nephew. Dear Abang Zavi, jadi kakak yang baik dan pintar ya di kemudian hari. Bisa jadi contoh buat cucu yai dan nyai lainnya. Tante doain semoga abang selalu sehat, pinter, soleh , baik dan jadi kebanggan keluarga. Aunty love you very much XOXO💓
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ITS OK!

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Recently, I’ve been feeling quite down, for various reasons.  Dealing with some repressed emotions that have surfaced, and just generally feeling a bit lost. And I find it so frustrating. But I am also human.  For god sake , Im always happy when people around me get something that they really want.  But I can't lie when something they got was one of the things i dreamed of  . Deep down , there will always be a big questions to my self  " When is my turn ? or "Why should it be me?"  And unconsciously I'm sad.  Selfish ? I know.  I know I'm selfish when I'm a little sad when other people are happy. but i'm sad because of myself  not because of their good news.  Again , For God sake. I never planned and didn't want to feel that way but isn't that something i can't control.  Sometimes I get angry with myself.   Because I let sad feelings come at the wrong time. Then, Withdrawing my self for a while.  Choosing to minimize ...
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C’est La Vie

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Have you ever feel left behind?  you may look at some of your friends and think that they are ahead of you. it's normal! because I feel it too. I know we can’t stop comparing ourself with others.  Especially from others that have same age with us and the life we ​​want and plan doesn't turn out the way we expected. We question where we went wrong with our own lives that prevented us from having one like theirs. It may be hard because we all do have a little tendency to dwell so much on perfection, making sure things turn out the way we want and plan them to be, that we spend so much time worrying and overthinking . We never realize that we are too focused on what we don't have rather than what we have. So we only spend time to thinking about the flaws in our lifes, as if our lifes were the most miserable . We never realize that everyone has their own time. Everyone is running their own race in their own time zone. I know this seems so naive. But at this point , i just want ...
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